Endings and Beginnings

Wednesday dawned with clear, beautiful skies after days of low clouds, rain and snow. My first thought as I watched the sun rise was what a lovely day it was for Kristina to embark upon her new life.

The plan was for Sholpan to go to court early in the day to see the judge and get the papers authorizing Kristina’s release from the orphanage. We were to wait for Igor’s call once this was accomplished. Then we could go buy some toys, fruit, juice and ice cream for her group and take our final trip to the orphanage. We’d have a little going away party and then head back to the apartment with Kristina.

We waited. And waited. And waited some more. Realizing that Sholpan’s getting the papers was subject to the judge’s schedule, we didn’t expect to head out early. But the hours dragged by and by 2 or 3 pm the little worry gremlins were stirring once again. Had something gone wrong? Did her mother show up at the last second and derail the whole thing? Neither of us spoke about it, but the pucker factor was rising rapidly.

Finally we got the call from Igor a little after 3 pm saying he’d be there in 5 minutes. Whew! We could breathe again. We headed downstairs and climbed into his car. A couple quick stops for the toys and snacks and we were on the road for the hour drive. We met Sholpan coming the other way and stopped so she could hand off the papers to Igor. With the baton passed, the final piece to the puzzle was in place.

It was late afternoon when we arrived at the orphanage. It’s funny how different it looked to us. You draw all your impressions of the hallways, rooms and furnishings from the previous trips and we were always there from 10 am to noon. We’d never seen it as it looks on a brilliant sunny afternoon with long shadows hinting that the day was nearing a close. The familiar green and blue parakeets looked like they could use suntan lotion and sunglasses.

We bustled down the corridors carrying bags of toys, treats, gifts for the mama’s and clothing for Kristina. We arrived at Group 5’s room just as the children were preparing to head out onto the grounds for some play and exercise. Igor explained to the mama why we were there and she nodded her head. She gave the children new instructions and they all put away their outdoor clothes and filed back into the room. As they took seats, the mama dispensed the ice cream as Kristina handed out toys to each of her group mates. We’d bought matching dolls for the girls and action figures from Madagascar and King Kong for the boys. The children were excitedly examining them as they savored the ice cream.

After a bit it was time for Kristina to change clothes and say goodbye to the children. She disappeared into the back room and emerged a short while later wearing one of the outfits we’d bought her on last week’s shopping trip. The children all got up and clustered around her to give her a hug goodbye. It was incredibly sweet to see their warmth and love in a situation that might instead have revealed jealousy or resentment.

With the last goodbyes said to her group, it was time for a tearful hug from the mama’s. It is so telling of the care, love and devotion that these kids receive in Kazakhstan that these partings are always so emotional. We thanked the mama’s profusely and headed down the stairs. Robin wanted to stop at the playroom one last time for a final look at the place where we’ve built a relationship; one hug, tickle and laugh at a time. With tears in our eyes we finally passed through the orphanage door. We’d arrived weeks ago as hopeful parents. We left today as a family.

I couldn’t believe how stunning the massive stands of birch trees looked as we drove back to Petropavlovsk. I’ve always loved birch and this has come to symbolize this beautiful country to me. They’re everywhere here, just like they were in Ust-Kamenogorsk when we adopted Julia. In the time that we’ve been here, we’ve seen their green foliage turn myriad shades of yellow and now thin as winter prepares to settle in.

Entering the apartment, we expected Kristina to be a whirling dervish and she did not let us down. Like in last week’s trial run, she flew from room to room making sure that none of the light switches, fans, drawers or cabinets lacked for attention. Robin prepared a dinner of meat patties, mashed potatoes and peas. We sat in the kitchen and had dinner. Then the little munchkin was on the move again.

Kristina had another nice bath and again took the seven rubber balls into the tub with her for proper cleaning. Afterwards, she dried off, changed into pajamas and brushed her teeth. The apartment we’re staying in has 2 bedrooms, one larger one for us and a smaller one specifically decorated for a child. The bed in the smaller room even has Mickey Mouse on the sheets.

When it came time for bed, it was a monumental task to try and calm Kristina enough to even consider falling asleep. I barely tasted the effort as I was incredibly tired and headed to the master bedroom to crash. As I later found out, Robin laid with Kristina for hours as she squirmed, got up and arranged the bedding, took bathroom breaks and basically did everything except get sleepy. Finally, she settled down and had a catharsis of affection. She stroked and braided Robin’s hair, snuggled so close as to try and crawl inside her, kissed, hugged and said “Ya tibya loo-bloo” (I love you). Endlessly. From a child who’s been a little iffy in this area at times, it was pretty evident that the dam had finally broken.

Once Kristina fell asleep, Robin crawled in with me at about 11 pm. We figured we’d set the important precedent of getting her to sleep in her own bed. At about 2:30 am, it turned out that we figured wrong. We awoke to Kristina just standing in the doorway to our bedroom, not saying a thing. Any determination to adhere to a plan evaporated. She may have been disoriented or frightened and we were not about to send her to her own bed. Instinct told us to put her in bed right between the two of us and cuddle and comfort her. It was the right decision. Once again she was a torrent of affection. We didn’t get much sleep, but our hearts are full to the brim.